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Reflections of Myself
This past Sunday morning, I was relaxing and decided to pick up “Busting Loose from the Money Game” to keep reading after I had spent some time with my scriptures. I find it interesting that I’ve been thinking about how my self-rejections get projected to other people without their awareness. Then I read Robert Scheinfeld’s quote from Barbara Dewey. It talks about the reality that whatever we react to with love or hate when we respond to another person, we are really responding to those things in ourselves. We treat others as we treat ourselves in our most private, honest moments. In those reactions, other people gift us with opportunities to heal.
Ok. I already knew that. But in the reflection of my last diary entry, I can see this more clearly. And I can take the next step toward being thankful that other people reflect back to me what I already have within me. Then I am given the blessed opportunity to explore and heal at deeper and deeper levels. It isn’t about who “clicks” and who doesn’t, although I’m sure personality plays a role in what a person reflects back to me. The concept I learn from Barbara Dewey tells me that it is possible to clear out my old baggage to the point where I don’t respond in a self-rejecting or self-critical way to anyone that reflects potential rejection (my interpretation of it) toward me. Instead, I can come to the place of sincere self-acceptance and self-forgiveness that I am able to love everyone I come into contact with because I truly love myself. That is an amazing concept.
Then when I went to church, I was watching for and listening for critical thoughts toward others that have typically occupied my attention on Sundays. I gently held myself. And to my surprise, wonder and gratitude, people I’ve been critical toward received no such projections from me! Wow! I acknowledged, accepted, forgave and I feel so much more open and receptive. I like it!
I was also doing some thinking about the difference between success and the lack of success on Sunday. I am aware because of my reading and because of listening to a CD that Adrienne gave me that it is my thinking that limits me when it comes to achieving success. Duh! So as I thought about it more deeply, I came up with this concept . . . . It is true that opportunity and difficulty often show up at the same time. That’s not an original thought. But as I sat thinking about that, I realized that I have the freedom to choose to be a member one of two groups: the “Why me?” club or the “What wisdom is this here to teach me?” club. Yes, these are philosophies I teach and have tried to practice in my life. But as I am allowing myself to be confronted by challenges that reach my soul at deeper levels, I find that I have to re-learn these concepts at new and deeper levels. So my question to myself is this: “What do I need to learn? What are the skills I need to develop? What do I need to look at in myself in order to be successful?” I’m committed to finding the answers to those questions. In reality, there is no difficulty that comes with any new opportunity that cannot be overcome with persistence, a willingness to learn and determination.
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February, 2012
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